So...I was truly unprepared to leave our Wed-before-Thanksgiving prayer night with a request from my Papa God to fast from caffeine. It seemed like such an odd request but as I am day 3 w/o any caffeine, my journey is definitely one to note. So let me share with you the joy in my break away from caffeine.
A bit of background on my caffeine intake and need. As a mother of 4 broad range age children, a full time engineering student and wife to a man working 7 days a week right now - I'm a bit crunched for time. It takes lots of prayer to remain sane, lots. But never underestimate the power of prayer! ;) Needless to say as my semester has progressed so has my caffeine intake.
Wednesday night during our prayer session, I confessed before the Lord a hefty load of sins (yes, I'm a sinner, pray for me!). One area He clarified for me was a lack of trust. I wanted to argue with Him but it was Him, what else could I say but, "Show me." I got a bulging headache and was really tired and immediately thought of reaching for some type of caffeine (soda, coffee, energy drink, even diet pills). Sad, isn't it? I didn't even think of taking an asprin?!! I prayed for soda!! LOL...crazy, I know (remember the sanity prayer?); our conversation was pretty direct at that point as He clarified a need for clean and detox the caffeine.He revealed it was truly a lack of trust and a lack of care. When I think of my physical health, I think of:
1 Corinthians 6:19
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
But when I think of trust:
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
My way was drinking coffee, followed by a red bull, while taking energy pills and vitamins in between meals. Unable to sleep in due to the rigorous 6 am wake up call my children get, (and now give back on Holidays) my days continue to begin promptly at 6. So as Thanksgiving was upon us bright and early, I experienced similar pains early in the day as well as fatigue. Who would of thought my body would still be tired after 10 hrs of sleep in 3 days? As my detox weekend continued, I realized that my dependence on caffeine substituted my dependence on the Almighty.
When we issue our own execution of His plan, it doesn't quite come out the Way He meant. Jeremiah 29:11 is a promise I cling to daily but I undertook that promise and executed it in my own understanding. I wasn't recognizing how much He wanted me to depend on Him for strength - to rest when He says rest - or be of sound mind and body when my 16 month old colors my body with markers because he woke up before me.
I'm called to be so much more than a caffeine junkie, one prayer away from becoming undone, and certainly not the best picture of the Almighty to the saved or unsaved. I don't believe I'm called to save anyone. As a wife, mother, daughter to the Almighty, student, friend, sister, classmate, I'm called to be a Light. I wasn't able to be that Light because I wasn't plugged in to the Ultimate Source. Yes, I was praying. Yes, I was doing my devotions. Yes, I've been in church. Yet, something in me was depending more on the caffeine to get me through exams, prepping for holidays and a busy family. And My Papa was kind enough to not let it go any further.
A change of heart, diet, attitude or habit are only a prayer away. And the promises of His Word are those that allow us to move past small issues to big ones and back again. I've watched the Lord change my life by miles and still fix the block right up the road. Open every avenue to let Him in and Lead; there is rest, peace, joy, kindness, gentleness and love waiting for you.
In these 3 days of independence, I've heard my Papa call me clearly. I've walked out in faith in other areas of my life. I've been blessed to enjoy my children and this time off. And now, as I reflect on these days - I'm so grateful. I prayed for rest and He gave it to me in such a way that I can't thank Him enough. I was tired...I couldn't say anything else about my life these past couple of months and this weekend I was given rest. I'm thankful for a God who gives me what I need. In two weeks I have finals and I found new strength and will finish the race! :)
Be blessed with ears to hear our Papa guide you and direct your steps and enjoy the victory of all He has already done in our lives and continues to do!
Isaiah 40:31 (NASB)
Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
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