Re-new, Re-use, Re-peal

As I lied in bed very upset I did the first right thing - and prayed. It was a 4 word prayer, "What do I do?" Simple and honest enough to receive an immediate response, "Apologize." Ugh...why did I ask Him?! Oh ya...yes, Lord.

That conversation with my One Beloved brought to mind the need to renew...my mind, my heart and my behavior. But rather than revamp my mindset I wondered something else - why am I still re-acting this way? I saw in my mind a wave, then more waves. I thought, Ok, life is like waves and sometimes it knocks you down. But I don't think He was quite done schooling me. So I thought, Ok, too big the wave so you duck dive or maybe you're like those awesome surfers I know, you ride it. So, we all react differently. But then I saw this image in my head and I couldn't stop laughing, it was me duck diving when there was no wave. Then I was duck diving when the wave was really small. Then I was duck diving before the wave, then after. Do you get the picture? I sure did.

I was reacting the same - even though the wave was different. I stopped laughing. It was too real and too hurtful to realize. 

I took a moment to seek His Word. Initially, this scripture was fresh in my mind

Romans 12:2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Since today was already a different dialog, I decided to do a word study on renew instead. Funny, Rom 12:2 didn't come up! Instead the following verses spoke deeply to my heart:

Job 10:17‘You renew Your witnesses against me And increase Your anger toward me; Hardship after hardship is with me.
Psalm 51:10Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Colossians 3:10and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him

And the two that spoke  the most to me seem to coincide together with what I was doing and what He wanted for me:

Lamentations 5:21Restore us to You, O LORD, that we may be restored; Renew our days as of old
Ephesians 4:23and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind

I wanted restoration but I needed renewing and one isn't really possible without the other and I wasn't sure in which order to they come. No answer just an action - a calling. I am called to renew that He may restore. 

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting new results. I decided I didn't want to recycle my feelings and re-act the same. Life abundant sounds so much more appealing. In an effort to repeal that thinking, I'm capturing my thoughts and my words. And btw, I did apologize sincerely, right away. 

I realized I will battle this often, repealing all the stinkin thinkin in my head. The comfort I found in those verses remind me that I'm not alone in this struggle and if I have to redo this, I will be just as blessed. To reinforce dictionary.com defines:

re-

 

a prefix, occurring originally in loanwords from Latin, used with the meaning “again” or “again and again” to indicate repetition, or with the meaning “back” or “backward” to indicate withdrawal or backward motion: regenerate; refurbish; retype; retrace; revert.

May we all be blessed to repeat God's way and repeal our old ways. 

If you're stuck in a rut, God's Word is true, everlasting and unchanging. Hold tightly to what He has to say to YOU, because He wants to speak to everyone.