I am an overachiever and somewhat relentless in my desire to succeed. I also think Superman was a great example: courageously strong, protecting the weak but taking zero credit and self satisfaction. Recently God has tested me to leave it all up to HIM. Every area of my life: relationships, school, home, work - all came to a point that nothing I did would change/fix/repair what was done. OMG on da real! I hadn't realized how many areas of my life I still wouldn't surrender to God. I'll raise my kids Lord, no need, thanks anyway. I'll be the support my fiance needs. I'll get myself through college with a family. I'll take care of my home. I had a pretty hefty superwoman plate I was carrying that I didnʻt want to share with anyone, even Jesus. Then I realized, I, I, I. No wonder everything wasn't going according to ʻmyʻ plan. I was expecting to be able to carry it all alone! I thought that knowing the Lord would make ME strong enough to control my life! HA! It's funny now...but I've experienced many tears, much anger and frustration in my path of Iʻs. Even as a Christian, Super ʻChristianʻ Woman wasnʻt working.
Taking the long hard road I've discovered I serve an awesome God who wants to show me that He's awesome! (Can you imagine a husband who 'wooed' you everyday?!) As I began to let go, God got the chance to begin and I watched the seed of love I had intended (with my plans) flourish into wonderful fruit of God! Then I found - He hears me. I can't even think it without a sigh of awestruck belief and love. All my prayers for my home, my prayers that my family wouldnʻt fall apart, that my fiance would find the Lord, that my family and my fiance would get along my children...all of them, He heard.
Today I pray the Lord uses me for the many visions He's given me in ways He guides me - for His plan. I pray that the weakness I feel now (lack of control) is in His hands and not mine. I pray for the lives of my family. I pray that He guides me through college. I pray I am able to do as He has taught me to take care of my family and home...bottom line - I pray and pray fervently... Not just when everything falls into place, I pray when He has allowed me to share in His blessings of success.
I've realized its not Super Woman who makes miracles out of everyday life, only Jesus. And He succeeds 100 out of 100 times. He doesn't break His promises. He won't leave me or forsake me. If I can put my life in a car, why I can't I leave it up to the Lord? ...and you haven't been in the car with my fiance, Oh Lord help me there!
If you need prayer or help recognizing the areas you havenʻt surrendered please email me, post or get ahold of me. There is power in prayer! He wants to use us in the little things so that we're ready when He blows our mind with the big!
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Phil 4:6 (NASB)
A Psalm of David. Hear my prayer, O LORD, Give ear to my supplications! Answer me in Your faithfulness, in Your righteousness!
Psalm 143:1(NASB)
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